Mississippi Sasquatch

According to my buddy Ernest who (God love him) lives in Yazoo City and keeps up with such things, though UFO activity has been suspiciously quiescent lately, crypto-hominoid sightings are on the rise in Mississippi.

Creatures have been reported as far north as Winona and as far south as Mount Olive, where one was caught on cam trying to make off with a dish antenna and a tackle box. Most sightings are very late at night or in the wee hours of the morning, but Ernest claims he has a video of one raiding a Frito-Lay van in Greenwood in broad daylight. I haven’t seen it, but he says it looks like a bald orangutan in a Saints jersey throwing confetti.

These beings deserve our respect and compassion; let’s not endanger them by alerting game wardens. We should encourage and support their presence in this world we share.

I keep a six-pack of Miller on the back porch, but I won’t have them in the house.