Cucumber Sandwiches

Dear Ones,

Summer has come, so you must brush up on cucumber sandwiches.

These dainties are among the noshes mandated for those incredibly fussy high teas you read about in rapacious Edwardian novels. Similarly, we serve cucumber sandwiches for gatherings where decorum (ostensibly) rules; social luncheons, a patio cocktail hour, and of course those inevitable occasional brunches.

Cucumber sandwiches at a kegger is the epitome of gauche.

Do not use those bloated green zeppelins from the local grocery; the sandwiches will sag before serving. Go to the farmers’ market and select good firm cukes. If you can find a firm yellow one, cherish it’s sweetness. Partially peel fruit and refrigerate for an hour before draining and using.

Trim the crusts of good sliced soft white bread and cut to size. Blend cream cheese and mayonnaise 3:1, add lime or lemon juice, white pepper, and salt. Coat bread with spread, top with cucumber slices, and assemble.

Snarl while serving.