Dragon Peach

The sun was well up, blaring over the trees when I parked in front of Rick’s apartment building. He stepped out of his door wearing a straw fedora and linen jacket, worn chinos, and canvas loafers, the very picture of a dirt road dandy gone to seed.

Watching him wrangle his legs down the steep stairs, Ricky suddenly seemed frail to me, and I felt a pang in my chest. I’d known hm for less than five years, but in those years, I’d come to love him like a brother; he’d filled my losses, propped me up, and pushed me back into a life I could lead on my own. He claimed to be sixty-eight, but he said a lot of things I didn’t question.

He clambered into my old truck and we headed to Linda’s market north of downtown. The market sits far back from traffic under a long tin roof, a colorful oasis in a dull, hot desert of asphalt surrounded by cars parked without regard to space or bearing. As we drew closer, we could hear the shuffling rattle of a homemade pea sheller.

Under the roof, our eyes adjusted to the shade and found melons mottled and striped, green-upon-green, blazing red cayennes, motley purple peas, and speckled beans. We paused over the corn, looking for fresh ears with tight shucks, green stem ends, and sweet-smelling tassels. We chose cucumbers that were slightly under-ripe, firm, and shading to jade.

The tin roof popped as the sun bore down. Ricky walked over to the peaches, rows of baskets filled with Chilton County Elbertas, saffron blushing to carmine, some with stems and leaves. Over these he lingered, walking back and forth, occasionally reaching down to brush one with his fingers, picking another up, holding it to his nose, and putting it down.

I brought him a paper sack and shook it open with a pop. “What do you look for?” I asked.

Ricky snapped out of his reverie, looked at me and smiled. “A dragon,” he said.

“Jackson, Mississippi is nowhere near Middle-Earth, Ricky.”

“Yancy, listen for once,” he said. (As if I didn’t always.)

“The world is full of magical and wonderful things. A few of them amaze you so much you can’t get rid of them,” he said. “Those are the dragons, the ones you keep looking for. I remember this peach from a basket in Tupelo. When I bit into it, suddenly I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear. That peach just sucked everything out of me, and all I could do was eat that peach, and I’ve spent the rest of my life buying lousy peaches chasing that dragon.”

We loaded our sacks in the truck. As we were pulling onto the highway, Ricky reached into the back, rummaged around and pulled out a peach. He wiped it with the handkerchief he kept in his back pocket, turned it around in his hand, and took a bite. I looked at him expectantly. He smiled and shook his head, rolled down the window, and threw it out.

“I’ll find it one day,” he said, and my heart broke.

Your Palate, Your Past

We believe, as the wise maintain, that the past is never past because memory lives within us. But we often fail in our efforts to recapture memories, to bring distinct colors and shapes to forgotten images of people and places.

Proust maintained that the past is hidden “somewhere outside the realm, beyond the reach of intellect, in some material object (in the sensation which that material object will give us) which we do not suspect.” And for Proust, what allowed him to circumnavigate his stubborn intellect and bring back a world where love and life in all their riches were open to his vast and exacting talents, was the taste of a tea cake, a madeleine, which he recognized as the spark that brought life to involuntary memory.

Proust’s recognition of the cake as a trigger has a valid neurological basis. Long-term memories reside in an area of the brain called the amygdala, which is very near the gustatory cortex and the olfactory cortex, the areas of the brain areas in the brain responsible for the perception of taste and smell respectively. The network for processing and feeling emotions, the limbic system, meanders through both areas. Proust’s madeleine initiated a neurological sequence, taste triggering memory, evoking nostalgia, an ache for one’s past, a desire to experience it again, not because it had been so wonderful—for memory does not exclude grief nor trauma–but simply because it had been and is now gone.

This same sequence works for us all of us, whether with a tea cake or those bread-and-butter pickles you found at a county fair that brought back those memories of a house at the end of a long road in the woods with a swing on the porch and an elderly aunt who whistled as she fed her chickens.