The Cheese Straw Alternative

Admit it; making cheese straws is a pain in the butt.

Though they’re a must on your browsing buffets (if not, someone sniffy is bound to say, “Oh, I should have brought you MY WONDERFUL cheese straws!”), they still aren’t something you might feel like throwing together for a more casual gathering like a bowl game, backyard picnic, or that special moment when y’all decided to get married all of a sudden and your mother(s) held a reception.

Mix well one cup plain flour, one cup grated sharp cheddar, and one stick of softened butter. Add a little salt, a little white pepper, mash around for a little bit, roll out, and shape with a cookie cutter (which is quite easy to clean.)

Bake at 350 until crispy. Dust with paprika and a pinch of cayenne.

Reviving Salmagundi

Claiborne and All Who Sailed in him (honestly, I can’t count how often I’ve wanted to kick that pontifical old queen under the table) declared, “There is something about the word ‘salmagundi’ that has an unmistakable appeal for savants with a leaning toward gourmandism.”

I have no ambition of being a savant, much less one learning towards gourmandism. Like many others, I simply find salmagundi—like pettifoggery, kittywampus, or hullabaloo—a word I want to pick off the page, cuddle, and tease with a string.

The dish is just as playful, actually, not so much a dish as it is a presentation like an antipasto or a smorgasbord, of a selection of cold vegetables, pickles, meats, and fruit mounded on a tray.

By precedent, you want your meat, cold poached chicken atop salad greens ringed with pickles, cooked eggs, raw or blanched vegetables, citrus, nuts, sausages, and cold fish—anchovies are a classic addition, but I like smoked salmon, too.

Pretty much anything goes with the notable exception of cheese, which isn’t included in any reliable historic recipe.