Caring for Garden Gnomes

To properly care for garden gnomes, you must have a passing familiarity with the gnomish race, which is of ancient and noble origin. While some gnomes do have an urban nature, inhabiting environments of asphalt and concrete (“homie gnomies”), all gnomes are secretive creatures, preferring to live on the verge of human ken, and the placing of a garden gnome (or any other gnome, for that matter) should reflect that character. This is customary for any sort of statuary, of course; putting St. Francis of Assisi poolside just isn’t appropriate, particularly next to the wet bar. No, gnomes should be unobtrusive, almost furtive in their placement, smiling wisely at our foolishness from some shaded corner of your garden.

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